Do you ever wish you could read your dog’s mind and know what’s really going on in there? Have you ever wanted to become a dog whisperer? Are you curious about what your dog is really thinking and doing when you're not around? Look no further! We've done some extensive research and discovered what our dogs really think.
But we warn you: Once you read this article, you will never look at your dog the same way again. So let's take a look at some of the secrets that our furry “friends” might be keeping from us!
They're secretly plotting against the mailman.
We all know that dogs love to bark at the mailman, but did you know that they might actually be plotting against them? In fact, according to some investigation we’ve done, some dogs have secret meetings with their fellow canine friends to discuss how to take down the mailman once and for all.
Through careful detective work, we’ve uncovered some of the tactics they’ve tried to defeat their enemy:
Hide and Go Speak! (hiding behind bushes then barking once the mailman has come to scare the jeebies out of them)
Guess Who?! (jumping out and startling them)
Bark Battle! (Engaging them in a rap battle of barks – they’re reportedly so good the mailman just drops the mic and runs)
And finally, Bark Bark! (barking up the front yard to let the mailman know who’s really boss).
However, we suspect they have more techniques in the works. We’ll be sure to keep an eye on them to let you know what other mischievous attacks they’re planning.
They have their own secret language.
While we may think that our dogs are just barking, they're actually communicating in their own secret language. It's a complex system of barks, whines, and growls that only dogs can understand. And don't even get us started on the butt-sniffing code.
According to investigative reports, dogs use their sense of smell to gather top secret information about each other. This can include private and confidential data such as where they secretly pooped in the house, gossip about the dog next door, and which couch pillow they’re going to attack next. Although our dog translator still needs some work (one of the dogs “mistook” it for a toy, so we‘re currently getting it fixed), we’ll keep working on the secret codes they’re sniffing back and forth.
They're secretly judges of our fashion choices.
We may think we look great in our trendy outfits, but our dogs might have a different opinion. They're secretly judging our fashion choices and giving us side-eye when we walk out the door in our mismatched socks and sandals. Dogs are experts at reading body language, so they can tell when we're feeling confident (or not so confident) in our outfit choices. And if they're not impressed, you can bet they'll let us know.
They're actually super spies.
If you think your dog is just napping on the couch all day, think again. According to some reports, this is when they’re actually doing their work as secret agents in the CBI (Canine Bureau of Investigation). This involves keeping an eye on everything that's happening in your house and reporting back to their fellow dogs. This includes information such as where that sweet bag of chocolate is stashed, what new human clothes they need to establish their mark on, and when that evil vacuum cleaner is making its next attack. And if they hear any suspicious noises, you can bet they're on it.
Although our investigation is still incomplete, we thought we’d let you in on some of the secret activities going on underneath your snout—we mean, nose. The next time your dog gives you a look, you can best bet they’re privately judging you and planning their next move. So if you hear them barking in a secret language, you might want to start taking notes.